Get Congruent

Wow, this is a big one. Congruency is essential to achieving your goals. What do I mean by "get congruent." First of all, I am assuming that you have written down a clear description of your ideal life. If you have not done this, do it now. Don't hold back, what is your dream life? Write it down. Now. Then come back and read the rest of this. This is what I call "moving the box," more on that in another post.

When you look at your ideal life how does it compare with the life you are living now? I have no doubt that you will find a lot of things about your life that don't match up with your dream life. Maybe you can't see how you will get from where you are now to where you want to be. You might even tell yourself it is impossible. Others may tell you it's impossible. I'm telling you that anything is possible and somewhere deep down, you know I'm right.

I'm going to tell you how getting congruent can help you get from point A (where you are now) and point B (your ideal life). Aligning yourself with your dreams is all about congruency. I'll use my own life as an example. When I was 24 years old, I was living at the beach and partying every day. I was a smoker and a heavy drinker. I was completely irresponsible with my body, my relationships, and my finances. This went on until I crashed and burned. When I had no money left, no job, no car, no home, and no self worth I woke up. I began designing my ideal life. When you have nothing, it is easy to dream.

I created an image in my mind of who I wanted to be. I wanted to be self-sufficient, healthy, respected by friends and family, financially secure, brave, and confident. I created images of my ideal life. The key in doing this is to be as specific as possible. After much soul searching, I was able to create a clear picture of what I truly wanted my life to become. I wanted a loving partner, a life of adventure centered around the ocean, to become a published writer, and to heal my relationships with the people I had isolated myself from. My life at that time was so far from where I wanted it to be, but it never occurred to me that I could not change things for myself, even though i had no idea how to do it.

I wrote down what I wanted and constantly reread, revised, and refined my goals. I wrote down all of the specifics I wanted in a partner and then I stopped looking for one. I turned my attention to re-creating myself as someone I would like to live with forever. I realized that I wanted to live not just near the ocean, but on the ocean. I discovered that there is a subculture of people who live on boats and travel the world. I knew this was exactly what I'd been searching for.

I enrolled in sailing classes at the local community college. I knelt on the floor of the local Barnes and Noble and read about this lifestyle almost every day. I quit smoking and cut down on the drinking. I began running and working out. I got a clerical job to get me back on my feet and worked there for a year while I shaped my new life.

Almost everything I was doing was aligned with my ideal life. At the end of that year, I was boat shopping and had my vices completely under control. I was paying my bills on time and taking care of myself. I met my future husband at that time. He was on his way to the Bahamas... on his sailboat. I started out with nothing, but the knowledge of what I wanted to see in my life. There was no path, but as I took action to become the person I wanted to be, a path emerged.

Getting congruent begins with you. Ask yourself what do I want and who do I want to be? And begin to re-create yourself. It's fun, exciting, challenging, and so rewarding. If you are searching for a mate, be that person you want to spend the rest of your life with and you will be surprised that once you become someone you can love how quickly your mate will come into your life.

It's all about aligning yourself with your goals. If you want more money, make sure you are working toward that. At the most basic level, a job is essential, even if it is not your ideal job. Once you have an income coming in, then you can work on discovering your passion and use that to make an even bigger and more rewarding income. This can take awhile, but it is so worth it. Make sure you contributing to a savings account, because if you don't think you're worth it then no one else will. Meet your financial commitments on time. Raise your financial consciousness to a level that says you know how to manage your finances, and you will find that you have more opportunities coming your way to prove it.

I will cover discovering your passion and making money with it in another post. For now, look at your life and figure out if there is anything you can do right now to align yourself with your ultimate goals. I told you the best way to attract the someone to spend your life with is to be that person yourself. If you want to look better or feel better then research health and fitness and start a program to adopt a healthier lifestyle.

My advice is to do this in the most self sufficient way possible, researching options yourself, not asking others to do it for you or tell you what to do. You will only get true answers from within. I hope you notice this statement resonating inside you, because on some level you must know that this is true. We've become so dependent on others in our society that we can hardly make a decision without seeking the approval of others. It begins with trusting yourself. Know that you have all the answers you need already.

It all seems so simple, but try it and you'll see that it takes constant vigilance and lasting perseverance to see it through until you actually affect changes in your life.
I did it, and I continue to do it every day. I am creating the life of my dreams every second and it's an awesome experience.

Love Your Body

"If We Really Love Ourselves, Everything In Our Life Works." -Louise Hay

Our bodies are the most magnificent machines, aren't they? The systems that make up the complex life form that is the human being are so amazing and perfect that we do not even fully understand everything about them. Yet, they work together seamlessly and beautifully.

I believe that every one of us was born perfect, and those things we perceive to be imperfections about ourselves are blessings in disguise. We are all beautiful. If you don't agree, that is okay. You don't even have to keep reading. But if you are at all intrigued, if this has already struck a chord in you, and you are curious because you have always wanted to be beautiful, but never thought of yourself in that way... then keep reading, because this is for you.

I am lucky to have a whole and healthy physical body, but when I look in the mirror sometimes all I see is what I wish I could change. I want to be more slender, more toned, less freckled, have a prettier face, straighter teeth, bigger breasts, and thicker hair. A man I know looks at himself and wants to be taller, more muscular, and weigh more.

I could do some things that would not only help me improve what I see in the mirror, but provide healthy benefits for my body and mind as well. And so could he. We all could.

Yes, I believe we are all beautiful. I believe these bodies our souls inhabit during this time we spend here on earth are miraculous vessels. This means we should care for them and appreciate them. But, we all want to look our best. We have so many options available to us if we decide we want to improve our appearance.

We can pay someone to cut us open and rearrange things a bit, maybe remove something or add something. We can take natural or chemical supplements in the form of pills, liquids, and powders. Some of these actually work to change our appearance into what we've decided it should be to make us happy. But, at what cost? Is an improvement on our perfect bodies worth compromising our health and the quality of our lives down the road?

Hmmm... This is not cute, and as she gets older, well, those breasts will need replacing because the materials they are made from are toxic and perishable.

Another thing, these surgeries and supplements are not cheap. They will cost you in many ways. How is this contributing to our overall quality of life? I can exercise and eat a healthy diet to achieve the slim and toned body I desire.

There are healthy choices I could make to help me like what I see in the mirror, and there are choices that might hurt my body and perpetuate an unhealthy frame of mind like surgery and pills. Those might seem like a quick fix, but inflicting such trauma to a healthy body is unnecessary and ultimately threatens good health. Also, these quick fixes are often temporary and not as gratifying as accepting my body for what it is and working in a healthy way to improve on what I was born with.

Everyone does not look the same. We were never meant to. Diversity is beautiful and inspires confidence. Uniformity is boring and lacks imagination.

Many men equate height and muscle mass with masculinity, but some of the hottest guys around are 5'11 or under. They weigh less than 185 and are slim. They are in great shape and their huge fan base speaks for itself. These guys look great and it's not about being big or having bulky muscles. It's about making the most of your genetics, bone structure, and natural height and weight. Tom Cruise is 5'7" and 170 lbs. Brad Pitt is 5'11" and 160 lbs. Johnny Depp is 5'10" and weighs 155 lbs. Leonardo DiCaprio is 5'11" and weighs 140 lbs. Jude Law is 5'11" and weighs 160 lbs. Lenny Kravitz is 5'8" and 165 lbs.

If any of these guys started with creatine, testosterone boosters, estrogen repressors, human growth hormone, or other "natural" and chemical aids to help them bulk up, they would not only end up looking ridiculous, they would suffer side effects such as: premature death (in case of acromegaly), heart enlargement (due to prolonged use of HGH. Can't be reversed), low blood sugar with risk of going into a diabetic coma, excessive hair growth all over the body, excessive water retention, liver damage, thyroid damage, depression, acne, kidney damage, adrenal damage, mood swings, heart problems, joint pain, cancer, and a whole host of others.

He looks natural and healthy, which is very attractive.

As I did the background research for this article, I realized that the majority of the guys who take this stuff are not professional body builders, but high school kids and young men who are lured in by the promise of bulking up muscle, weight gain, and harder erections. The erection thing being the most insane, because no one in the entire population on earth is producing more natural testosterone than a high school age male. Not to mention, the prime function of an erection is babymaking, which is definitely a responsibility that most of these young guys don't want.

I also found that these guys don't really ever look like the pro bodybuilders they aspire to, because that requires so many hours of lifting weights every day. The average person just does not have the time. So, supplements or not, your average guy will never look like Arnold.

And guys, here's the thing, any woman I know would go for the slender, healthy guy with the good sense of humor and high self-esteem over the pimpled, moody, guy with the creatine bloat who is broadcasting his insecurities to the world with his pumped up mindset. The bodybuilding supplement industry makes huge money off these guys. If you are one of them, stop paying them to mess your body up and celebrate the perfection of the body God gave you! Make the most of it. Don't try artificial supplements to distort your natural shape.

Did you know that cruciferous vegetables are the most natural testosterone boosters and so is weight lifting. Your body knows what to do with them. They work with your body's glandular systems to regulate the right amounts of hormone activity. That is what your body was made to do. It knows what it's doing, trust it. Don't overload it with man made supplements and screw it all up.

This is so nasty looking, it makes me want to throw up.

As for me, neither surgery nor pills are in my future, so I'll have to deal with my body image issues in a healthier way. Besides learning to love my natural beauty, I've started doing cardio 5 times a week, just jogging or speed walking around my neighborhood. I don't NEED a gym membership to get in shape and neither do you. Strength training 3 times a week with hand weights and calisthenics. And yoga 3 times a week for toning and flexibility. It may not sound like much, but it's more than what I did before, which was nothing, and I can definitely tell a difference.

I've also stopped eating animal protein except for seafood. I hardly eat any processed food. I eat mostly fruits and vegetables. This diet change has been miraculous. I have more energy, a greater sense of well-being, a better memory, an increased ability to focus, less congestion, and clearer skin. I don't suffer from allergies like I used to and I sleep like a baby. As for the breast thing, I can wear really low cut tops and I don't always have to wear a bra, what can be more sexy than that? Take a look at Michelle Pfeiffer, Kate Bosworth, Cameron Diaz, Sessilee, and Gwenyth Paltrow to see how much sexier natural is, even if they have breasts on the smaller side.

Living a healthy lifestyle may not be easy, but neither is feeling like crap and never being truly happy with yourself. I know so many girls who have breast implants and nose jobs, and they still aren't happy with their looks! It's so ridiculous. If you are one of these people, please throw all the diet pills, body building supplements, and future plastic surgery plans in the garbage right now, and prepare to do some work on yourself that is real.

You will have to work hard to drop old habits and start new ones. Journaling helps, affirmations help, talking to yourself even helps, and having a good, supportive friend helps. Do the work on yourself of adopting a healthier diet, making time to exercise, and telling yourself how wonderful, beautiful and perfect you are. If you do this for just 3 months your life will be transformed, I guarantee you. If you do it for 30 days, you will be able to tell enough of a difference to want to keep doing it. Go ahead, let your body amaze you, naturally!

How adorable is she? She works hard for it, and it's all real.